Nikki's Book Club - March Recap
- nikolettturai
- Jul 7, 2024
- 15 min read
Updated: Aug 3, 2024
This month's read was really interesting and great help towards my self-development journey. Let's have a look.
Book No. 9 - Ikigai: The Japanese Secret To A Long & Happy Life by Hector Garcia & Francesc Miralles
Just as the title hints, this book is all about how to live a more fulfilled and healthy life.
Personal Rating: 5/5
Opinion: This book not only provides you with useful tips on your diet, exercise and work but also introduces you to a lifestyle, a way of living. I can truly resonate with everything that this book says. It serves as a great guide to life. So if you are going to buy just one book from this list, buy this one!
The Meaning of Ikigai
Ikigai is a Japanese concept that briefly translates to "a reason for being". The book suggests that you will find your purpose when you find something that you love and what you are really good at. This thing should also be something that the world needs and that you can get paid for. I truly believe I found my passion in teaching. I love helping people get better and achieve their goals. I just don't think I am in the right setting yet. I would like to help many more people and those who truly seek to better their lives. That's why I started School of Fulfilment.
The book says happiness means being always busy. Even when people retire, they should stay active. The book says that key components of longevity are:
good diet
exercise
purpose
social ties
Make Your Diet Healthier
The book suggest a method called Hara Hachi Bu. The people of Okinawa Island, who are the longest living people on Earth, swear by this method. They say you should stop eating when you are 80% full. Sometimes, little tricks can help you to feel fuller: using small plates, reducing portion size, skipping starter/dessert or drinking more water with your meals.
The Okinawa diet consists of low-calorie, low-fat food that is carb-based but rich in protein. Tofu, sweet potato, and vegetables are center of this diet alongside small amount of fish, pork, noodles and rice.
Here are some other useful tips they recommend:
Eat a great variety of food.
Aim for 5 servings of fruit and vegetables per day.
Eat fish 3x a week.
Replace snack with fruit.
Minimize sugar intake. Use cane sugar.
Consume antioxidants: tofu, miso, tuna, carrots, cabbage, peppers, sweet potato, goya, kombu seaweed, hechima, soybeans.
Eat calcium-rich food.
Avoid alcohol and caffeine.
Move Your Body
Exercise is big part of staying healthy. Don't spend too much time sitting down. Go for a 20 minutes walk every day, use steps and enjoy social/leisure activities. The book mentions the following exercises are highly beneficial: yoga, qigong, radio taiso, tai chi, shiatsu.
The Ogimi Lifestyle
Ogimi, known as a village of longevity, is a small village in Okinawa. People believe the islanders truly cracked the code to a long and happy life and these are the key components of it:
Keep a vegetable garden - I know, it's an odd one to start with :)
Be part of a community group - Villagers strongly believe in the following phrase; Ichariba chode. The point of this saying is something like this: "treat everyone like a brother, even if you've never met them before". In the village, everyone is part of a moai (meaning: group of people with common interest) - this is a social group that provides members with social, financial, health and other forms of support.
Celebrate often - Even the little things.
Have an important purpose - But don't take yourself too seriously.
Be proud of traditions and custom.
Be passionate about things you do.
Recognize the connection between people.
Always be busy with things that relax you.
Attitude To Life
I feel that a lot of books have some great advice in terms of how you should approach life in general and I like to summarize these teachings under the "attitude to life" title.
The first suggestion of the book was keeping your mind active. This includes examining thoughts and making sure we have a positive attitude to life. We need emotional awareness and intelligence to be able to navigate through challenges with a clear mindset and direction.
The book promotes different therapies and meditation. The first was logotherapy. This is a therapeutic approach that helps people find reasons to live (their purpose). The other approach was the Morita therapy. This includes 4 stages. The first stage is complete isolation just to be alone without any distractions for a few days. After this, the patient will spend time documenting their thoughts and feelings. The third stage includes some physical activities such as gardening, writing, painting or reading. The final stage includes meditation and getting back to society. The whole point of this therapy is to help people discover their life's purpose and encourage them to do what they should be doing while accepting their feelings and life as it is. The book also mentioned the Naikan meditation which is a great self-reflecting tool. It involves asking the following 3 questions:
What have I received from person X?
What have I given to them?
What problems have I caused to them?
These reflections should help you bring truth in your mind. The book also encourage people to meditate as it helps them live in the present moment.
I read a very interesting quote that I should definitely use in my personal life: "If you are angry and you want to fight, think about it for three days before coming to blows". I am sure if we would follow this rule every time we are max, we could eliminate 80% of our arguments.
Another famous quote I read in the book is by Aristotle (one of my favorite quotes ever): "We are what we repeteadly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." Consistency is key. This is the single one thing that helped me change my life.
Final advice - Be resilient. "Fall seven times, rise eight."
Work, Goals & Focus
The book explained a great Hungarian's, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s, theory - the state of flow. Flow is the mental state in which a person performing some activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. A nice Wikipedia definition for you. To achieve this state, first of all, you need to choose to do a task that you can actually do but still a bit outside of your comfort zone. Otherwise, if the task is too easy, you will get bored, if it is too hard, you will just give up. To achieve the state of flow, you will need the following:
Know what to do
Know how to do it
Know how well you are doing it
Know where to go
Perceive significant challenges & skills
Be free from distractions
To achieve your goals, you need to have clear objectives and you need to have an action plan detailing how you are going to get there. But instead of looking at the end goal, concentrate on the process. Come up with small, manageable tasks that will take you closer to your end goal. Focus on a single task, have control over what you are doing and eliminate any distraction.
Tips to help you with focus and stay present:
Don't look at your phone for an hour after getting up/before going to sleep
Switch your phone/notifications off when doing something
Try to spend one day a week without your phone
Go to a cafe without wi-fi
Read emails once or twice a day/week (depending on your job)
Pomodoro technique: 25mins work, 5mins rest, repeat 3x then have a longer break
Start your work with a ritual you love and end with a reward
Train your mind with meditation, walks, swimming to come back to present
Avoid distractions
Divide activity into smaller tasks and assign time and place to them - where you are going to them and when
Do routine tasks all at once
Meditate
How To Reduce Stress
The book states that most of our health problems come from stress. Stress also contributes to premature ageing. To be able to reduce stress in your life, practice mindfulness with meditation, yoga or breathing exercises. Relax more and don't rush. Be optimistic. Stop worrying. Nurture your friendships every day.
10 Rules To A Happy Life
Stay active, don't retire
Take it slow
Don't fill your stomach
Surround yourself with good friends
Get in shape
Smile
Reconnect with nature
Give thanks
Live in the moment
Follow your Ikigai
Book No. 10 - Do It Today by Darius Foroux
The book that helps overcoming procrastination, increasing productivity and achieving meaningful goals. Practical advice combined with scientific research to offer effective strategies in the topics above.
Personal Rating: Very strong 4/5
Opinion: A very easy read, providing a great, easy-to-follow structure. I really like books with subtitles like "How to find time". It makes things straightforward and user-friendly. This book contains so much amazing advice and tips - so this review is going to be a lengthy one too.
How To Be Productive
The book starts with another one of my favorite quotes by Abraham Lincoln: "You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today".
You can be productive different ways in all areas of your life. You can train your mind and body every day, you can build habits, you can have a to do list at work or for when you clean your house. The key is to avoid procrastination and persuade yourself to actually do what you need to do. "Procrastination is a sign of poor self-management." You need to eliminate any distracting, unnecessary thoughts or things that stop you from doing what you planned to do. You also need to motivate yourself, perhaps by thinking about past successes or some happy memories related to the task.
Darius says, if you want to get things done, you need rules. Freedom is your enemy. Here are the rules:
Give yourself deadlines - This will provide you with a sense of urgency.
Build an accountability system - Something that will force you to take responsibility for your actions.
Work/study in intervals - This will help you with productivity and focus.
Exercise for 30mins a day and eat healthy - These will provide you with the energy you need to complete the task.
Eliminate any distractions - This will take away any temptations.
Establish purpose - This should be something that will internally motivate you.
Darius suggests people should complete an activity log to help them identify and eliminate zero-return tasks that will free up time for more important things to do. Here are some examples of the top 10 most unproductive things people do:
working too much
worrying
being stubborn
checking things (like the notifications on your phone)/browsing
escaping life
saying yes when you don’t really want to
not writing things down
being hard on yourself
neglecting personal education
hating rules
Darius also provides a list of 20 things that lead to productivity:
Always cutting to the chase
Recording thoughts and ideas
Saying no
Taking 5mins break every 30-45mins
Eliminating distractions
Keeping away clutter
Focusing on one thing at a time
Not consuming too much information
Creating routines
Not multitasking
Checking emails only twice a day
Not going on phone in the first waking hour
Planning the next day
Not thinking too much, just acting
Exercising
Laughing
Not goint to pointless meetings
Asking: Is that really a necessary?
Pressing reset when you had a shitty day
Doing the work
Create An Evening Ritual
Create an evening routine that prepares you for the next day. Prepare your outfit at night to save yourself time in the morning. Journal. Review your day and your habits. See where you can change/adjust. Check your calendar for the next day, see what you will need to do and visualise your day. Make sure you disconnect. "To be everywhere is to be nowhere." Leave the day behind and clear your mind by doing some yoga, meditation or pray.
How To Be Productive At Work
The book had a great quote by Zig Ziglar: "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily." Motivation is vital to productivity.
You should think and process your thoughts before you execute work. Have clear focus on what you want to achieve. "A man who chases two rabbits catches neither". Once you decided, act. Don't just wait for the perfect moment or the right circumstances. Jack Kirby once said: "Perfectionists are their own devils." Time-blocking (planning your whole day out - when you are doing and what) is a great time management strategy that boosts productivity. You can also use the Pomodoro technique that I mentioned before in order to achieve efficiency.
Some tips for work to help you maintain work-life balance: leave the office on time and don't take any work home. If you hate your job, quit and find something you love to do. I understand it is not that easy; you have bills to pay. You preferably need to have 6 months worth of savings to be able to do this. Don't just stay in a toxic environment though. Consciously make the effort to save up, keep your eyes open on other job offerings to be able to leave when you are ready for it and when you are not putting yourself in financial danger.
Darius suggests the following universal skills to be developed:
self-discipline
personal effectiveness
communication
negotiation
persuasion
physical strength/stamina
flexibility
Prioritize Rest & Focus On What's Important
Dale Carnegie said this right: "So, to prevent fatigue and worry, the first rule is: Rest often. Rest before you get tired." Make sure that when you go on holiday, you truly relax. Document your holiday by taking pictures, making videos. Enjoy a good book! Otto von Bismarck said about reading: "Fools learn from experience. I prefer to learn from the experience of others."
Focus on important things that are not work related. Your foundation should be your family, friends and yourself. Work on these things. And one more thing on relationships. "How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours".
Measure your life by these 3 factors: Energy, Work and Relationships. Energy - How well do you eat? Do you exercise enough? Work - Does your work provide you with full learning potential? Relationships - Are you nurturing friendships? Are you spending enough time with your loved ones?
Make sure you have your basics sorted.
Book No. 11 - The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
Randy Pausch, a professor of computer science who suffered from terminal cancer, left this manifesto to his children. The last lecture provides useful advice for many but the messages are directed towards Randy's children.
Personal Rating: 4/5
Opinion: A lovely book that includes great and interesting stories and very inspirational and motivational messages about daring to dream big.
Attitude to Life
I will summarize in bullet points some of my favorite teachings from Randy and this book:
Be earnest.
Don't obsess over what people think.
Look for the best in everyone.
Show gratitude - say thank you often (handwritten thank you notes are the best).
Loyalty is a two-way street.
A bad apology is worse than no apology.
Watch what they do, not what they say.
Always tell the truth.
Know your place.
Be prepared, wherever you go.
Give back to the community.
All you have to do is ask.
Choose fun.
Tips On Career, Capabilities And Goals
Randy starts with saying "we cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." The circumstances do not matter. What matters is what you make of it. Give yourself permission to dream. And dream big! "Whether you think you can or can't, you are right."
Don't complain if something doesn't work out. Just work harder. No job is beneath you. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty. "Experience is what you got when you didn't get what you wanted." It is ok to fail, but you need to try and try again. As Rocky said: "It's not how hard you hit. It's how hard you get hit and keep moving forward." If you want results, you need to work hard for them. Seneca said "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." So never give up on your dreams!
How To Make Meetings Effective
First of all, you need the optimal conditions. Make sure no one is hungry, cold or tired. That's why Americans love to do business over lunch and dinner. Introduce everyone, explain why they are there and what is their role in the meeting. Make sure you learn how to pronounce people's name properly. Let everyone to contribute, have their say. Praise each other for your contributions and let your ego go. It's fine to disagree but don't undermine people's effort to contribute. If you would like to suggest alternative solutions, phrase them as questions. For example, instead of saying "we should do A and not B", you could ask "What if we do A instead of B?".
“Somehow, with the passage of time, and the deadlines that life imposes, surrounding became the right thing to do. “
Book No. 12 - Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Private notes from the Roman Emperor about his personal life and on Stoic philosophy.
Personal Rating: 3/5
Opinion: This is a translation of notes that were written more than 1800 years ago. So understandably, it is not the easiest read. It will require concentration. However, it is a very insightful book with wise teachings that will help people live a better life.
Human Interactions
Marcus Aurelius highlighted the importance of human relationships in his notes. He warns people not to hate anyone as it is pointless. Hate is a strong word anyway. His advice is to be patient, treat people nicely and never treat anger with anger. Try to leave other people's mistakes where they lie. When it comes to understanding others, practice really hearing what people say. He encourages others to help each other and do them favors while expecting nothing in return.
He encourages people to do what they think is right and not care about what other people might say. He says "Don't waste time worrying about people - It will keep you from focusing on your own mind."
"The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say, or think or do. Only what you do."
Marcus Aurelius says the 3 most important relationships to maintain is the one:
with the body you inhibit
with the divine/the cause of everything in all things
with the people around you
Be The Best Version Of Yourself
Aurelius said: "My only fear is doing something contrary of human nature - the wrong thing, the wrong way, or at the wrong time." Try to be the best version of yourself and a decent human being. As the book says "the only rewards of our existence here are an unstained character and unselfish acts". If it's not right, don't do it. If it's not true, don't say it. Aurelius said "the truth never harmed anyone - what harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance." Treat yourself with respect. This should shine through your actions too. "Our own worth is measured by what we devote our energy to".
Attitude To Work & Achieving Your Goals
Aurelius said you should "do what you love, what you are designed to do and you will be fulfilled". You have to assemble your life yourself - action by action. But there are external obstacles. But if you accept the obstacle and work with what you are given, an alternative will present itself. Make sure you focus on your goal and eliminate any distractions. Just keep trying and you will succeed. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
"If the crew talked back to the captain or patients to their doctor, then whose authority would they accept? How could the passengers be kept safe or the patient healthy?"
Don't Be Afraid Of Death
You will die... Make sure you live first. "You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think." I love this quote. It gives you a true direction to how to live your life. This is another one: "Stop whatever you are doing for a moment and ask yourself: Am I afraid of death because I won't be able to do this anymore?" If the answer is yes, then you are living the right life. You should learn to ask of all actions: 'Why are they doing that?' Starting with your own. Stay present, focus on now. "Give yourself a gift: The present moment." Be grateful for what you have.
How To Deal With What Life Throws At You
First of all, good and bad happen to everyone. It is nature, it is normal. Change is also part of the natural. It's a natural process. Don't be afraid of it. Everything happens for a reason - both good and bad. "External things are not the problem. It's your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now." Trust me, nothing happens to you that you can't endure. Practice acceptance. The mind is the ruler of the soul. "Either pain affects the body or the soul, but the soul can choose not to be affected, preserving its own serenity, its own tranquility. All our decisions, urges, desires, aversions lie within. No evil can touch them." Aurelius said "Today I escaped from anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions - not outside." You are in control. "It's time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you and make you dance like a puppet."
"To be like a rock that the waves keep crashing over. It stands unmoved and the raging of the sea falls still around it."
Well, I hope you enjoyed the teachings and insights shared in the March book review. Each one offered valuable lessons that can help us lead more meaningful and fulfilling lives. Remember, the journey to personal growth and fulfillment is ongoing, and incorporating these wisdoms into our daily routines can make a significant difference.
Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect with me. I look forward to sharing more discoveries and insights in the future. Stay curious, stay inspired, and keep striving for a balanced and fulfilling life.
Love,
Nikki
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