Nikki's Book Club - January Recap

nikolettturai
Apr 21, 2024
12 min read

Updated: Aug 3, 2024

Book No. 1 - Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King

This book is written by Vex King, an Instagram influencer, who discusses creating positive vibrations in your life that will eventually lead you to a good and happy life. It serves as a guide to self-love and is filled with uplifting messages, captivating artwork, and profound insights to empower you in cultivating positive vibrations.

Personal Rating: Very strong 4/5

Opinion: I loved the quotes and the teaching but I wish he would have shared more of his personal story to be able to resonate with me more.

So let's delve into this.

Law of Vibration vs Law of Attraction

Vex believes that the feelings we project are returned on a like-for-like basis through our experiences. So having a positive mindset will bring more positivity into your life. This is somewhat similar to the Law of Attraction from the book called 'The Secret', which states that "whatever the mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve”. So the idea is that if you visualize what you want and actively act towards that goal, you will eventually achieve it.

Everything Starts With You

Your happiness is your choice. How you act, behave, and most importantly, how you think have a direct impact on your life. According to Vex, you should surround yourself with positive people. You should find inspiration in everyday life. To be able to do this, you need to be present. This is one of my favorite quotes from the book: “Every second you spend thinking about the next moment, you avoid embracing the present. Ensure your life isn’t lived entirely in your head." You should look after your health too; eat organic food and drink filtered water. You should also change your body language to mirror your positive mindset: smile, straighten up, and have an open body language. In other words: “Fake it till you make it!”.

Gratitude

Gratitude is the easiest way to a happy life. You can't feel bad while you are feeling grateful. Try to express gratitude every day. Personally, I do this in the evening when I am journaling. There is a section there asking 'what are you grateful for today?'. Even on my bad days, I can say something like my family, my friends, God, my health, my home, etc. If you struggle to list anything, just think about how life would be without certain people or things within your life. And here is another wisdom for you: “The more you count your blessings, the more blessings you will have to count.”

Practicing Self-Love

There are no rules to beauty. Be yourself; you are unique. Stop comparing yourself to others. Encourage positive self-talk and be kind to yourself. Make sure you put yourself first. Be important to yourself. Prioritize your own needs and your well-being. Become your own support system so you don't need to rely on anyone else. If you have any regrets, forgive yourself. You are kind enough to forgive others, so be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for any mistakes you made.

Study Your Emotions

To cultivate a positive mindset, it's important to acknowledge and manage negative emotions. However, suppressing these emotions isn't the solution—they're natural and need to be experienced. Instead, try transforming them using this method:

Identify the negative emotion you're experiencing.
Challenge them by asking yourself: 'Why do I feel this way?'
Understand where that emotion comes from—is there an underlying issue?
Replace the negative emotion with a positive one. Recall a time when you felt positive in a similar situation.
Visualize yourself handling that negative emotion in the present moment and imagine how you would like to handle it in the future.

Distractions

To maintain a positive outlook, it's crucial to eliminate distractions that contribute to unhappiness. Social media, in particular, can be a major source of negativity, exposing you to people and celebrities who may trigger feelings of inadequacy. This can even extend to your own circle of friends. Simplify your social circle by keeping those who add value to your life and removing those who don't. Remember, less is often more when quality outweighs quantity. Additionally, consider unplugging from the digital world occasionally to reset yourself. I recommend a social media cleanse with the following steps:

Limit your screen time.
Unfollow accounts that don't align with your morals and values.
Seek inspiration on social media from sources that uplift and motivate you rather than those that breed comparison.
Avoid gossip and drama, and refrain from engaging in online arguments that only serve to drain your energy.

Handling Negative People (And People In General)

Gandhi once said, "Nobody can hurt me without my permission." Don't allow people to bring negativity into your life. There is a strategy for this situation called Radical Acceptance. You should accept the fact that you simply cannot change a person, their behavior, way of thinking, or situation. The only thing you can control is how your mind responds to these. You can choose to end the relationship, refrain from engaging in pointless arguments, or simply walk away. This includes leaving a toxic job too (just saying). Another favorite quote from the book is, "Some negative people are allergic to positivity!"

"The truth is that, either way, you're going to be judged, whether you live life on your own terms or on other people's." These are so true. People will always judge you, no matter what. So why care? Just live your life however you see fit. Also, sometimes we try to be kind and help others with all our power, not realizing we should help ourselves first. "You cannot pour from an empty cup". Protect your energy first and prioritize your own well-being amongst others. By doing so, you will be better equipped to support others without depleting yourself.

Daily Habits

Additionally, to practicing gratitude, you should also have some daily affirmations that you tell yourself. "What you verbalize will eventually materialize. You have the power to talk aspects of your reality into existence." Now take this with a pinch of salt. I don't think if you just think and wish for what you want you will get it. I think you need to actively work towards these things. But the more you think and talk about these, the more motivated you will be to act accordingly. Make sure you specify your goals; write them down on a piece of paper. Do not type it up on your phone. Handwriting has a more personal meaning to us. Stick this piece of paper somewhere where you can always see it.

The Universe is supporting you. Have faith instead of fears. Trust the process. Patience is key. There is a saying: “Life will test you just before it will bless you.” According to Vex, lessons will repeat themselves until we learn. I do believe in everything happening for a reason. I don't mean it is right or fair. I think even if we go through hard times, it happens to us so we can learn important lessons and become stronger, improving ourselves and our lives.

If you are working towards your goals, stay consistent. Consistency leads to results. Aristotle once said: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” If you are not working towards your goals, what the hell are you doing? Procrastination will delay your dreams. Do the following now to help you with your productivity:

Get rid of distractions.
Give yourself incentives.
Take regular breaks.
Make tasks more appealing - Listen to your favorite music while you are doing it or give yourself a reward once the task is done.
Get help.
Give yourself a consequence for not doing a task.
Announce your intentions to people who are important to you - Accountability will make you finish the task.

On a final note, if you want to be happy, be. It is your choice. You have the power in your hands to live a happy and fulfilling life.

Book No. 2 - Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom

An American author, Mitch Albom, penned a memoir detailing his encounters with his former sociology professor, Morrie Schwartz. The memoir chronicles Albom's visits to Schwartz as he battled amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), offering profound insights into life, mortality, and the enduring bonds of friendship. A really beautiful book.

Personal Rating: Very strong 4/5

Opinion: Aww… This was a bit heartbreaking. I loved the story, loved the writing and contains really great life lessons. This book definitely puts life into perspective.

This was more like a story rather than a guide to life, so I will summarize my findings in these bullet points:

Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do.
Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it.
There is no point in keeping vengeance or stubbornness.
People are only mean when they are threatened.
Learn to forgive yourself and forgive others.
Make peace with living.
Don’t assume that it’s too late to get involved.
Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
Do the kinds of things that come from the heart.
The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives purpose and meaning.
Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little community of those you love and who love you.
Be compassionate. And take responsibility for each other.
Love each other or perish.
Love wins. Love always wins.

Beautiful words from a beautiful soul.

Book No. 3 - The Art Of Laziness by Library Mindset

If you are a lazy or very unmotivated person, you need to read this book. It's a very easy read and full of advice on how to be more productive.

Personal Rating: 3/5

Opinion: This book has some great tips on how to be productive. Sometimes I felt the content was repetitive (although that’s a good way to make sure we remember things). It’s very easy to read.

Life Lessons

The book started with explaining why we shouldn't be lazy. It concentrated on highlighting the fact that we all die one day, and we never know when that time will come. It talked about how most people waste their time on Earth by doing unnecessary and not very useful things. Again, this might be easier to summarize in some bullet points:

Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don’t live in the past.
Don’t worry about something that is not your business.
Be aware of what you can and cannot control. Only worry about things you can control.
Keep things simple.
“All of humanity’s problems stem from our inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” - Blaise Pascal
Learn to say no - “Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” - Josh Billings
Surround yourself with the right people - “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” - Jim Rohn
Close the window that hurt you, no matter how beautiful the view is.
Be careful who you are taking advice from - “If they don’t have what you want, don’t listen to what they say.” - Alex Hormozi
Don’t speed read and read a variety of books.

The Right Attitude Towards Goals

Nobody is coming to save you. There are no hacks that will help you achieve your goals quicker or easier. So stop looking for an easy way out. And if you don't have any goals in life, find some. You need to look forward to something. Benjamin E. Mays said, “The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.” Set clear goals and write these down. If you don't specify your goals and describe them clearly, you will find it difficult to achieve them. Seneca said, “If you don’t know what port to sail to, no wind is favorable.”

This book mentioned consistency too. John C. Maxwell said this: "You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” Another quote that fits well would be F. M. Alexander's: “People do not decide their futures; they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.” Stay consistent with your actions and be patient with the results.

Some tips for achieving your goals:

Be confident that you can do things.
Learn things that can improve your life.
Learn to prioritize.
Eliminate distractions, delete apps that don’t serve you.
Your comfort zone is your enemy. Take risks. Make the right choice, not the easy one.
Self-discipline means doing the things that are good for your future but are hard to do in the present. All things that are going to improve your life are hard.
Do the hard thing first - The cold water doesn’t get warmer if you jump late.
Don’t wait for the perfect time to do something. It doesn’t exist. Do what needs to be done.
Be impatient with action and patient with results.
Don’t let failure stop you.
Do something you love (job-wise). “20 years from now, the only people who will remember you worked late are your kids.” - Sahil Bloom

A Small Note On Being A Perfectionist

Don't. Don’t be a perfectionist. Perfectionism is a disease, action is the cure. If you want something to be done perfectly, you might delay yourself or actually never get round to completing the task. And trust me; done is better than perfect. I don't mean be mediocre. Always strive for greatness and don't be afraid to dream big. But make sure you enjoy the journey and don't be fixated on the results. Don't worry if you mess up; learn from your mistakes. And make sure you celebrate achievements.

The Myths Of Multitasking

It cannot be done. This is scientifically proven. Psychologists and neuroscientists say that the brain is not designed mind and brain were not designed for "heavy-duty" multitasking (American Psychological Association). Have you heard this saying?: “The man who chases 2 rabbits, catches neither.” Multitasking reduces efficiency. So avoid doing multiple things at the same time or switching tasks regularly.

Productivity Strategies

20 Tips For Productivity:

Plan your day - Write down what you want to achieve.
Write your goals on physical paper.
Follow the 80/20 rule: 20% of inputs are responsible for 80% of the results or outcomes. Focus your attention, resources, and efforts on these vital few factors.
Stop multitasking.
Focus on one task at a time.
Remove all distractions.
When tired, take a nap.
Learn to say no.
Delegate non-important tasks.
Don’t wait for the perfect time - do it now!
Do everything that can be done in 5 mins.
Do the tasks that you hate first.
Don't miss something twice or two days in a row.
Set deadlines.
Stop focusing on things that don’t help you achieve your goal.
Don’t become a perfectionist.
Schedule time for messages/emails.
Avoid unnecessary meetings.
Avoid negative people.
Do what you love.

The Parkinson's Law:

The work expands to fill the time allotted for completion. So if you say it will take you a day to clean your home, it will take you a day. If you say you can do it in 3 hours, it will take you 3 hours.

Pomodoro Technique:

The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s. It's a simple yet powerful technique designed to improve focus, productivity, and time management. Here's how it works:

Set a Timer: Choose a task you want to work on. Set a timer for 25 minutes, known as one "Pomodoro" interval.
Work Intensely: Work on the task with full focus and concentration until the timer rings. Avoid any distractions or interruptions during this time.
Take a Short Break: Once the 25-minute Pomodoro interval is completed, take a short break of 5 minutes. Use this time to relax, stretch, or do something unrelated to work to recharge your energy.
Repeat the Cycle: After the short break, start another Pomodoro session by setting the timer for another 25 minutes. Repeat this cycle of focused work followed by short breaks.
Long Breaks: After completing four Pomodoro intervals (i.e., after approximately 2 hours of work), take a longer break of 15-30 minutes. Use this longer break to rest, refresh, and recharge before starting another set of Pomodoro sessions.

8 Japanese Techniques To Overcome Laziness

Ikigai - Find your purpose: do what you love, do what you are good at, do what the world needs.
Kaizen - Concentrate on small goals and becoming 1% better every day.
Shoshin - Approach everything with a beginner's mindset. Be keen to learn.
Hara Hachi Bu - Stop eating when you are 80% full.
Shinrin-yoku - Spend more time in nature.
Wabi-sabi - Find beauty in imperfection.
Ganbaru - Be patient with results.
Gaman - Show patience and perseverance.

Night Reflections

Similarly, as you practice gratefulness for happiness, you should evaluate your actions to be able to achieve your goals. Every night before you go to sleep, ask yourself: What did you accomplish today? Think about all the things that helped you move towards your goals but also try to identify bad practices. Where could you improve? Pick 3 high-value tasks for the next day.

Book No. 4 - When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

At thirty-six years old, just as he was wrapping up ten years of training to become a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi received devastating news: he was diagnosed with incurable lung cancer. In a sudden shift, he transitioned from being a physician caring for the terminally ill to becoming a patient fighting for his own survival.

Personal Rating: 1

Opinion: It was difficult to read because it was boring (I am so sorry!). Similar story to the second book but this had nothing to teach.

The general take-away from the story was that life is short. Your priorities and worries will change once you really realize this.

Conclusion

I really enjoyed reading most of these books (apart from the last one which took me forever to finish). I hope you find all of the above useful and I hope it might encourage some of you to read more.

Stay tuned for the other recaps and please let me know what you think by answering the question below.

Love,

Nikki

How did you like these book reviews?

Loved it. Couldn't stop reading.
Enjoyed it overall, found it engaging.
It was okay, didn't stand out to me.
Didn't enjoy it much, struggled to stay interested.